Saturday, October 18, 2008

..six months later..

..six months on from when Mintie and then Clarke (our dogs) died.. ..and my last post here..

..i was talking to a good friend the other day, and she asked if i still write on my blog.. and i had to rely no.. that somehow felt wrong because i have been recording my life here for a number of years.. i am back.. :) and smiling again..

..i said to Merran (Rasta) this morning.. it feels like life stopped when Mintie and Clarke died.. and she nodded agreement.. saying that she had visited my blog earlier in the week.. and cried many tears at her own words about Clarke, i recorded below.. sorta did stop for awhile.. the train came to a jerky, sharp stop as it pulled into the station and both Merran and i got out.. on opposite sides of the train.. ..but just as the doors were closing, we both jumped back in.. and them out again.. ..repeatedly.. but try as we may.. the ride did eventually end at that station.. ..when the train left that station.. neither Merran or i were onboard.. was a sudden and almost unexpected end to our journey.. but in some ways, so inevitable..

..of course.. it wasnt just the loss of two dogs in close succession that caused Merran and I to go our separate ways.. but it was perhaps the event that tipped the scales too far..

..i wont write about Merran's new direction.. partly because that is her story to tell.. and partly because i dont really know the details of her story any more... ..but i will contiinue recording my own story here.. cos i like to.. :)

..Merran and I are still sharing our rented house at Woolloongabba.. ..we have just signed a six month lease..

..and today.. 18 October 2008.. my house in Newcastle is listed for sale, for the first time..

..i intend to buy a house in Brisbane when the Newcastle house is sold.. Brisbane feels like home to me.. even though Merran and I are no longer together.. ..there is something about Brisbane that makes me want to stay.. when i try to think about what that is.. the closest i get is my work.. i love my job.. ..and as well, i am so looking forward to having my own house again..

..i love how it happens that where there are endings, there are also beginnings..

..over the past few months some delicious events have occurred.. i have renewed some old connections with new enthusiasm.. and this has warmed my heart..

..i have also made some new connections in the world.. people amaze me.. ..i feel so lucky and rewarded by the goddess..

..animals are so important in my life.. and i still have my beautiful old dog Phoe.. but i have recently adopted a new dog.. who is 7 weeks old today.. her name is Malibu and she is full of the promise of new life.. ..i love her for it..

..i sat for quite some time at that station.. before being able to feel that i had a direction and could journey on.. ..six months on from the loss of Mintie and Clarke.. my world feels like a blessed haven again.. ..thank you goddess !!

..and thank you for reading my words..

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